But GOD.........

Well, it seems like forever since we've last chatted; I hope everyone is having a blessed week. Things haven't been the best, yet I'm holding on to God's promises. On Sunday, I realized the rash that I noticed over a week ago on my chest was not in fact my Lupus, but Shingles. Of course I was totally freaked out when I went on Google (LOL) and diagnosed myself. I immediately took a picture of it and sent it to my Drs., who confirmed that "yes" it was Shingles. I was already scheduled to go into the office for an EPO shot because my hemoglobin was low, so they were able to assess the rash. After giving me my shot and calling in my prescription, my Dr. brings in another Dr., the Transplant Dr. Dr. Kahn is part of the Transplant Team and was kind enough to sit and talk to me about my options regarding my current kidney status. After asking a few questions, he asked what stage of failure I was in currently. I responded at a 4, dialysis is 5, failure is 6. I told him that my Creatinine # was 3.5-3.8 and fluctuates. He said that I wouldn't be able to stay at this level too much longer and asked how long I had been there. My response was, I've never been under a 3 and I am usually at a 3.5 or so and have been since diagnosis. He was astonished! His response was "really, that usually isn't the case. Most people can't stay at those levels for more than 5 years." I smiled inside, because what he didn't know was that I wasn't most people, I was/am a Child of God and what happens to most, can't happen with me, "For in the time of trouble he shall hide me in his pavilion: in the secret of his tabernacle shall he hide me; he shall set me up upon a rock." Psalm 27:4-5. But God!!!

My First Lady Tracey Ellis taught on this very subject last year.....BUT GOD!!! When things are supposed to be one way according to the medical world, logic or physics God can always turn things around in your favor and make you the exception, the example of how great he truly is. I left that Dr.'s office thinking about all the "BUT's" God has put in my situations and everything that I have to be thankful for, in spite of what I'm currently facing. According to the Dr.'s, I was supposed to have been on dialysis years ago, BUT GOD!! After 20 years, I still have 50% kidney function.When I was diagnosed and placed on cytoxan, I was told my hair would fall out, I would have diarrhea, vomiting and nausea after each treatment, BUT GOD!!! I never lost one strand of hair, I never had nausea or vomiting, and as a matter of fact, I would get on the Lansing City bus after my treatment and attend my 7:00 pm class back on MSU campus. I know of several people with this disease that live in constant pain, are in and out of the hospital, and just aren't able to live a quality life, BUT GOD!!! I have never been on any maintenance drugs for pain, I have never been admitted into the hospital for my Lupus and I have never been unable to enjoy life. Even as recent as Sunday and discovering that this rash was Shingles. I saw the pictures and read some of the posts of those that suffered from this and all I could do was thank God. Some of the pictures were horrific and the pain they documented was even worse, BUT GOD!!!!! I have two small spots on my chest and although painful, it didn't require any type of maintenance drugs to treat. So, I say all of this to not only encourage you, but to encourage myself; when everything around you seems bleak, think about what God has kept you from and brought you through. Know that anytime there's a "BUT", it means that there is a contradiction, exception. Don't allow statistics and medical reports or even your friends and family dictate the outcome of your situation. How things work out for everyone else, it won't work the same for you. Trust and know that God is into making exceptions; which means there's a "BUT" in there for you.